Thursday, October 25

five weeks left

that's all i have to say about that
five weeks of the semester left

Saturday, October 20

hot chocolate

I made hot chocolate tonight. Nothing exciting, it is cold out. However, one sip of this non-conventional, made with milk, hot cocoa made me remember Grandma Hannah. It tasted exactly the same as it used to when we visited her on Sundays. When my family still went to Bethel, we went to Grandma Hannah's apartment every Sunday after church and had hot cocoa and orange slices. Icebox cookies if we were lucky. I really miss those days. We would chat with Grandpa and Grandma, Uncle Pete and Aunt Bonnie, and anyone else who would stop by. The more the merrier in her little place. It was great.
The hot cocoa tonight made me warm in more than one way.

Thursday, October 11


"there is nothing i am missing. i have everything i was supposed to have to experience the magnitude of this story, to dance wtih God." --don miller, through painted deserts

1 corinthians 7:29, the message
"i do want to point out, friends, that time is of the essence. there is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. keep it simple -- in marriage, grief, joy, whatever. even in ordinary things -- your daily routines of shopping, and so on. deal as sparingly as possible wtih the things the world thrusts on you. this world as you see it is on it's way out."

i need to simplify things. i need to slow down and enjoy the dance i am in with God. i need to simplify, get rid of, purge my life of things i don't need. not only in my "life", meaningless activities and time suckers. but also in my house, material things i thought i needed once and never really did. i have too much stuff, and i never seem to stop buying. and it's got to stop. my life and my heart and my house are becoming cluttered with so much "stuff" that i can't hardly see the light, the goodness, the simplicity that is sitting with God and soaking him in. reading and reflecting on that book really got me thinking of things i can do to ramp it down, step back and get rid of. i feel like i can't ever have enough stuff. i am beginning to think that my heart needs work too. do i have a greatful heart? am i truly thankful for the blessings we have: good jobs, a roof over our heads, groceries in the pantry, cars to drive, clothes to wear? or am i too caught up with the need to buy new things, have new clothes to take the tags off of, new shampoo, new card making things, a new book, new shoes? what is my heart: blessed, or greedy?

and what is my motivation for buying so much for other people? i know that one of my love languages is gifts, how i show i love people is by blessing them with things. but that's just it... they are just things. and is it really generosity that spurs me to buy things to send to my friends? is it truly a selfless, thoughtfull spirit? or is it a prideful, showing off, doing it for the thanks spirit? have i been hiding behind my "love language"; is it just another excuse to go shopping and buy more things?

what does simplicity look like? what does simplicity feel like? are my activities helping me love God more fully and bring more glory to him? what needs to change? "...i keep thinking about it, and how much i walk around with, about how life is a dance and God just meant for us to enjoy life...... it just seems like life would be better if we could just let go of the thought we need more and more stuff to be happy, more and more of the approval of others...." --don miller

Monday, October 1


"Everybody has to change or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, becuase a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently."
I just started reading another book by Don Miller, called "Through Painted Deserts" Lately I haven't been reading much nonfiction. I take that back.... I've been reading lots of nonfiction in the way of my psychology and english textbooks. Before school started, I was reading lots of fiction and lots about WW2. I haven't read a good, make me think, stir in my heart book for a while. I need to be reading something to help in those areas, to make me think about things other than works cited and neurons and stuff like that. My heart needs some major stirring, some introspection and some challenge. I have become lazy and apathetic about my faith lately. Too busy with school, too busy relaxing from school, too busy spending time with Mat. Not that any of those things are bad, I just need to work harder at growing, changing. I need to work on time management, so that I can more effectively be a wife, student, employee, and still spend time with God and my heart.
I have also started going to a Bible Study on Mondays. I was so excited that our church was starting a women's Bibles Study, and then when it was on my day off so I could attend, I got even more excited. We are studying a Beth Moore book called "When Godly People do Ungodly Things" I think it will be very challenging and stretching for me. And I'm also looking forward to becoming more involved in our church (which is huge....) and getting to know other Women of Faith. I am really looking forward to what God has for me in this study, with this group of women, in this church, in this time of my life.

Hebrews 10:24-25
"Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let us not neglect our meeting together as some people do, but encourage and warn each other especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near."