wordless wednesday

some days i wish i had a boss

i need someone supervising me, making sure i'm doing a good job with this little one. telling me when to take him to the doctor, what's wrong with him, why he has diaper rash, why his eye is gunky and he's coughing and snotty and cranky...... it's hard for me to spend the whole day being my own boss, making the decisions and hoping i'm doing what is best for him. i begin to doubt what i'm doing and how i'm doing it, worried i'm doing him a disservice or something that isn't the best for him. it's a life i'm in charge of now....it's intimidating

wordless wednesday

dear levi: months 1-4

my dear little monkey. you are the apple of my eye. i had no idea how much my life would change in the last four months. my life changed before you were even born, but it has changed so much more since then. you give me more joy, belly laughs and quiet tears in my eyes than anyone else. i could peek in your room and watch you sleep all day long. the twinkle in your eyes is so bright and innocent; your laughter is my new favorite sound. you are growing up too fast already, i want to slow you down. i love watching you figure things out, watching you watch your hands move, your face in a mirror, your feet kick around. you are learning and discovering every day and i love being with you to see it. however, i can't help but think about what your future holds. trying "real" food, rolling over, crawling, teething, walking, running, skinning your knees, jumping in mud puddles, talking, going to more baseball games with your daddy. i can't wait to watch you grow up and into the young man God has created you to be. my heart overflows with all the good things he has in store for you. just like the verse i painted over your crib, He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future." just as i've been watching you grow and mature over the past four months, i will continue to be there for you, every day. i will pick you up and snuggle you when you cry, i will wipe away your alligator tears, i will feed you, both the food that will nourish your body, as well as the food that will nourish your soul, i will hold your hand in public for as long as you'll let me, and always in my heart. you are a special little boy. i love you more than you know.

love, momma

catching up

i wrote a whole bunch of nonsense, and it all deleted it..... i'll write a longer post this afternoon. now, here are some pictures from our trip :) enjoy

new mercies

aye yi yi this was a long weekend!!!
most people are sad the weekend is ending and it's never long enough, but this one was so long and trying. levi is sick....stuff nose, (slightly adorable) cough, diaper rash up to his armpits (nearly), possibly a slight fever....and who knows what else is bothering him that he can't vocalize. and mat's out of town (at the GM conference, which means he got the promotion!! yay!). either of those situations would be difficult on their own, but put together and it makes for one sad mama. i shed more than a few tears today, for having to do this alone, for having a sick baby, for not knowing what he needs or why he won't nap or how to make his bum less rashy, for not having any good adult interaction since friday, for feeling like i'm drowning. it's been a long tough weekend, but as my little stuffy-lumpagus sleeps in his crib, and as i head off to bed, i'm thankful that His mercies are new every morning. and that He will refresh and re-energize me, give me stregth to face another day. and that the sooner i fall asleep, the faster that new morning will come.

nesting....again?

i feel like i'm pregnant again. the power went out yesterday afternoon, and sadly enough....without tv or internet i was bored out of my mind. so i started cleaning. i scrubbed the kitchen counters, the stove, the microwave.......i also cleaned out some drawers and the utensil jar on the counter. which brings me to this picture:

seriously, how many utensils do i need? really, do i need eleventy spatulas? and nineteen scrapers? it was ridiculous. i thinned it way out, thank goodness. which, in a sentence, summarizes what has been going on here over the past few months. now that i'm spending a good chunk of my days at home, i'm realizing how much stuff we have everywhere. i don't think i ever throw a magazine away. or a wooden spoon. or spatula. or pair of old flip flops. or stained white shirt. i'm bringing two bags of magazines to the library tomorrow. i have 8 garbage bags of clothes, shoes, belts, purses to bring to platos closet. i'm starting a box (or seven) for a garage sale this summer. just trying to thin things out. get rid of the clothes that i don't wear anymore...the shoes that hurt my feet every time i wear them... the books i've read and won't read again....the things in the house that i don't really LOVE or that aren't enriching our lives. it's a slow process, done mostly during nap times, but it's really helping me see that i don't really need 22 sweatshirts and the back issues of SELF for the past three years. simplifying...refreshing

wordess wednesday

thunder thighs

i thought it was about time for another real post. i've been doing a lot of wordless wednesday's, simply because they are a quick and easy post, and because my little monkey is so stinking adorable. i know, i know, i'm a little biased, but i still think he's amazing. he's been sleeping for 11 hours at night, consistently for a couple weeks now. it's amazing. he goes down for the night at about 8, and then is up around 6:30 or 7. he's a rockstar. and bathtimes are going so much better, he loves his baths. about the only thing that ticks him off is getting dressed, especially if something is over his head. i try to jam his flailing little arms through the sleeves as quickly as i can.....as soon as it's all over, he's all smiles. i just love him and his chubby cheeks, double chin and thunder thighs. some days it just takes my breath away how much i love him. he's amazing.
staying at home has been really good. it's been hard work getting on a routine, more for me than for him it seems like. more often than not, the day.....or week....would go by and i'll wonder what i've gotten done. i wrote down (because i'm such a list person) a schedule of cleaning for the week, so that our house will be somewhat consistently clean.... other than that, i'm just relishing the opportunity that we have for me to be home with levi. we play and laugh and just have fun together.
we've also been trying to get out at least once a day, just to either run some errands, or to meet up with other kiddos or moms. we've been going to the new mom's group at the hospital, which has been good. this week it was about baby sign language, which was fun and interesting. definitely something we'll try to start with levi in a few months. we've also been going to storytime at the library with our neighbors. the storytime we've been going to is actually for older kids, but it's fun to go with melanie and her kids. sometimes levi sleeps the whole time, sometimes he's awake and just looks around. i try to sing along with the songs and do the motions with his little arms....that usually brings on the giggles. such a sweetheart. :)
i think he's awake from his nap...hopefully in time for a walk :)

wordless wednesday

happy valentines day

Happy Valentine's Day from my monkey. Levi and I were going to try to get to church, but we have about 5 inches of snow on the ground, and it's still snowing. So we are going to have another snuggly, pj snow day watching the Olympics, Daytona 500 and then Amazing Race. Nice lazy day with the two boys I love the most. Hope you all have a great day!

wordless wednesday

wordless wednesday

reflections on 8 weeks

• everyone tells you to prepare for tons more laundry when you have a baby. no one mentions that most of that laundry is YOURS that has been peed on, pooped on, spit up/thrown up/drooled on, other mystery fluids leaked on....
• it's amazing how far through the day you can make it before you go.... "huh, i don't think i ate breakfast this morning"
• as soon as you sit down to eat dinner, you will hear wailing from the babe
• it will hurt to do anything for a while. i never really thought about it, especially considering what labor involves. maybe i was in denial, but i vastly underestimated how much pain i would be in and for how long i would ache. ouchie
• about 18 trips up and down the stairs a day will become normal. as will juggling a crying baby, a bottle or two, a burp cloth, and maybe even a water bottle
• eventually, making a bottle at 2am will become second nature.....something you can almost do with your eyes closed
• the hospital will charge you for everything. would you like a prenatal vitamin? ka-ching $3.50 would you like a pain killer? ka-ching $3.00 would you like a microscopic tube of lanolin? ka-ching $42
• a refound belly button and ability to wear a wedding ring is better than a nice piece of dark chocolate.
• the body can function without caffiene.......just not very well
• one grin, giggle, spit bubble or cuddle with him makes everything.....everything worth it. i never knew how empty my life was until he came into it.

6 weeks later

we've had a visit from all the grandparents and two aunts, christmas with all of Mat's family, a trip to the zoo, aquarium, movie, 3 margaritas, Colorado Springs to meet levi's girlfriend, two trips into my ::old:: place of work, a couple trips to Mat's hotel, visiting santa.......it's been a busy 6 weeks that's for sure. here's a few pictures of the past weeks. i'll try to post a more "wordy" post soon..... lots going on in my head

Introducing

Levi David Smith

After 34 hours of labor, 12+ hours of pitocin, very very low blood pressure, few hours of sleep, 2 cups of jello, one epidural, one failed vaccuum attempt......

Our 7 lb 11 oz 21 inch long little boy makes his appearance to a cold cold Denver. It was difficult and tiring and lasted forever, but it was also amazing. Can't believe how much I love this little boy already

coming soon

despite what the ticker says on the side.... i'm actually 5 days overdue. buckwheat is stubborn and cozy and is still on the inside. we go into the doctor at 9 tomorrow night to start the eviction process, and we'll hopefully have our baby boy sometime monday. we'll update as soon as we can. pray for us this weekend, that we get everything done at home that we want to, tie up our loose ends, and sleep GOOD this last weekend before the baby. pray also for a safe and healthy delivery.
we can't wait to meet our baby boy!!

completed monkey paradise

I was able to finish the baby's room this weekend, finally. I'm so glad to be done and have the room ready for him to be living in it. I think we just need to pack the hospital bag and get the car seats installed and we'll be fully ready for his arrival :) Can't believe my due date is 22 days away...... this 9 months really flew by, and we are beyond ready to have an outside baby!!!

Also, i'm not sure why these are all so little.....I even changed the setting to large and they were still tiny :( ENJOY

Here is the view from the door

(sorry these pictures are a little blurry, the camera is being stupid!)

changing table/dresser my mom and i put together. i want to make some labels for the baskets, but we need to fully decide what will be in each one, once we are "using" the table :)

floppy, the garage sale find of the summer. (one of his ears is floppy...thus the name :)

DIY mobile above the changing table

view of the crib. I can't quite decide how I feel about the lanterns above the crib, we'll see what hubby says when he gets home tonight :)

closer pic of the crib, and the DIY verse above

corner shelves

end table with the lamp and toy box underneath..... i'm sure this box will be outgrown soon!

close up of DIY blocks. i might put his name on this too, haven't decided yet.

ready to rock...and rock....and rock :)

(the two canvases on the wall were painted by Auntie Con)

DIY clock, customized hand and footprint frames, framed picture drawn by cousin Chloe

DIY monkey sign

exploding closet :)

DIY hooks behind the door, DIY canvas painted by Aunt Con (his name will go in the center, once he arrives), build-a-monkey and frame that says "my little monkey"

bookcase with his ever expanding collection of stories :)

peek-a-boo

refurbished end table before.......

.........and after.

perfect size for a few story books, some burp rags, a bottle of water for mom or dad.....

20 inches so far

and it's still snowing. ::fingers crossed:: i'll be home from work early again today and i can post pictures. i just can't believe the rate at which the snow is STILL coming down....it's been snowing for over 24 hours. gotta love colorado.....in october.....

EDIT: here are some photos. 5:00 and still lightly snowing....

from our back porch.

poor scarecrow :(

my wonderful hubs clearing off my car riding on the way to work (hubs brought me the last two days!)