since mat has been working weekends at the downtown property, we haven't made it to church for a few weeks. i know, i'm fully capable of driving up to lafayette by myself and attending church alone, i have just been making excuses to myself about why i can't or don't want to. the last couple weeks it's been homework; this week it's my head. i got a killer migraine friday and just wanted to chill at home all weekend. however, since i've been sleeping so much, i woke up when mat did this morning, around 7. rather than laze on the couch, which has been my spot the last two days, i decided to get caught up in my journaling, transfering my sermon notes into my journal and reflecting on the messages and lessons from the past couple months (and i'm finally caught up, and i finished my journal! big day!) it's been a good morning spent with God, absorbing a lot from my notes over the past while. then, after i finished that, i decided to get caught up on the messages we missed and watch them online. last weeks was really good; it was all about esther and how she leveraged her circumstances and wrong decisions into something better for God.
Esther 4:14 "If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. What's more, who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this." esther may have made some wrong choices in her decision to join the kings harem, but she could have forfieted any significant plans or purposes for her life and believe that she was just "eye candy" for the king, that she was no longer qualified for God because of her moral compromises or failures. but mordecai gave her a higher definition for her crappy circumstances, he opened her eyes to see her purpose--for such a time as this.
the challenge extended is this: how can i leverage my current circumstances, resources, abilities, opportunities, even suffering and adversity for the things of God, to achieve God's purposes? and is it possible that, for just such a time as this, i am exactly where i am suppsoed to be? it was funny/ironic, during the message, scott was giving examples of being right where you are supposed to be and one of them was this "maybe you moved to colorado for a better quality of life, for better opportunities, but is it possible that maybe in moving to colorado, for such a time as this you are right where you are supposed to be?" that really spoke to my heart. it's been a hard time living here, leaving friends and family. it's hard for me to make new friends, new, good, encouraging, edifying friends like i have in montana. and over the past week, circumstances have arisen that have driven me and my closest friend out here further apart (an area that definitely requires prayer). however, what if, even in this hard, lonely situation, for such a time as this, i am exactly where God wants me to be, exactly where i am supposed to be? that is huge for me, that he has not forgotten about me and my loneliness, my longing for a good, true, deep, godly friendship. that he has put me exactly where he wants me to be, for just such a time as this.
and off of that, how can i leverage this current circumstance for his purpose? how can i use this time without the distraction that friendships can sometimes be to strengthen my marriage, my relationship with God, to encourage my friends at home who so desperately need encouragement and prayer. and how can i use this time of growing closer to those people as a time to be greatful for all the blessings i do have here in colorado, rather than simply seeing what i'm missing. this was an amazing message for me to listen to today. and even though i wasn't "in church", for just such a time as this, i was exactly where God wanted me to be.
for just such a time as this, i am called to shine. scott prayed for "hearts that can shine no matter what our circumstances are, for eyes to see from Your perspective, for a desire to pursue your heart no matter where we go and what happens to us." that is my prayer.