Saturday, December 12


Levi David Smith

After 34 hours of labor, 12+ hours of pitocin, very very low blood pressure, few hours of sleep, 2 cups of jello, one epidural, one failed vaccuum attempt......
Our 7 lb 11 oz 21 inch long little boy makes his appearance to a cold cold Denver. It was difficult and tiring and lasted forever, but it was also amazing. Can't believe how much I love this little boy already

Saturday, December 5

coming soon

despite what the ticker says on the side.... i'm actually 5 days overdue. buckwheat is stubborn and cozy and is still on the inside. we go into the doctor at 9 tomorrow night to start the eviction process, and we'll hopefully have our baby boy sometime monday. we'll update as soon as we can. pray for us this weekend, that we get everything done at home that we want to, tie up our loose ends, and sleep GOOD this last weekend before the baby. pray also for a safe and healthy delivery.
we can't wait to meet our baby boy!!

Monday, November 9

completed monkey paradise

I was able to finish the baby's room this weekend, finally. I'm so glad to be done and have the room ready for him to be living in it. I think we just need to pack the hospital bag and get the car seats installed and we'll be fully ready for his arrival :) Can't believe my due date is 22 days away...... this 9 months really flew by, and we are beyond ready to have an outside baby!!!
Also, i'm not sure why these are all so little.....I even changed the setting to large and they were still tiny :( ENJOY
Here is the view from the door
(sorry these pictures are a little blurry, the camera is being stupid!)

changing table/dresser my mom and i put together. i want to make some labels for the baskets, but we need to fully decide what will be in each one, once we are "using" the table :)

floppy, the garage sale find of the summer. (one of his ears is floppy...thus the name :)

DIY mobile above the changing table

view of the crib. I can't quite decide how I feel about the lanterns above the crib, we'll see what hubby says when he gets home tonight :)

closer pic of the crib, and the DIY verse above

corner shelves

end table with the lamp and toy box underneath..... i'm sure this box will be outgrown soon!

close up of DIY blocks. i might put his name on this too, haven't decided yet.

ready to rock...and rock....and rock :)
(the two canvases on the wall were painted by Auntie Con)

DIY clock, customized hand and footprint frames, framed picture drawn by cousin Chloe

DIY monkey sign

exploding closet :)

DIY hooks behind the door, DIY canvas painted by Aunt Con (his name will go in the center, once he arrives), build-a-monkey and frame that says "my little monkey"

bookcase with his ever expanding collection of stories :)


refurbished end table before.......

.........and after.
perfect size for a few story books, some burp rags, a bottle of water for mom or dad.....

Thursday, October 29

20 inches so far

and it's still snowing. ::fingers crossed:: i'll be home from work early again today and i can post pictures. i just can't believe the rate at which the snow is STILL coming's been snowing for over 24 hours. gotta love october.....

EDIT: here are some photos. 5:00 and still lightly snowing....

from our back porch.
poor scarecrow :(

my wonderful hubs clearing off my car riding on the way to work (hubs brought me the last two days!)

Tuesday, October 20

won one of these, but the code expires at the end of the year. i wanted to put buckwheat's pictures in it, but i'm not sure i'll have enough time, energy and remember-y to get it done before it expires. any one have any ideas for what i could do? the two ideas i was thinking of was either a family book (pictures of the family so that he can learn them from far away) or an animal book, maybe animals to go with the alphabet?
i need some ideas!!!! HELP please!

Sunday, October 18

good thing

over the past couple weeks i've been super busy. not in a frantic, pulled-in-a-million-directions kind of busy, but just busy with things that i want to get done around the house. (none of which include cleaning yet....that'll come soon i hope!) it's a good thing to be wrapping things up, getting things done and finishing projects. here's a sampling of the stuff i've accomplished lately:
i made a memory game for the baby. i know, it's a few years premature, but i found these great stickers at HobLob, finally ordered some wood tiles and got them all put together. can't wait to play it with him! :)

baked baked and baked some more. a batch of lemony cream cheese cookies...

snickerdoodles in the oven...

a pan of blonde brownies (quality control got to them!) and a few loaves of banana bread...

9 loaves of banana bread (8 in the freezer) and 6 loaves of pumpkin bread. and, i'm sorry, but i'm being selfish with them. they are all in the freezer, awaiting this winter when we have guests...ready made breakfasts. and i'm not really sorry about not sharing.....i share pretty much everything else i make. i'm allowed to be a little selfish right now!!

....piles and piles of baby clothes....

all washed up and ready to go...smelling

and a batch of homemade pesto. we sampled some the other night, it's pretty dang delicious if i may say so myself.
so that's just a peek of what has been going on in our house lately...mostly in the kitchen :) a few more baby projects, including refinishing a great end table i found at a thrift store today (pictures to come!) and some more cooking i want to get done before he 6 weeks. i really love this nesting....i just hope it includes cleaning one of these days :)

Friday, October 16

WICKED friday

tonight is finally the night...... we get to go see the musical Wicked tonight. we bought tickets forever ago, i think in april as soon as they went on sale. i'm so excited i can hardly stand it. i wish it was 8:00 already so that we could just see it. we are going with a girl from work and her'll be a great time!! i don't think Mat know's what's in store for him..... he does love musicals though, but i'm not sure he knows that the book is SciFi.....we'll see how it goes. Regardless it'll be a great night. I think this may be our last "date night" before the least our last BIG EVENT before he comes. hopefully we'll have another one or two dates....depending on when he makes his appearance.
on the baby front, nothing new to report. we finished class 2 of 3 in our childbirth series, it was VERY interesting. i'm hoping to post a longer story about it this weekend. it was so interesting, gave me a lot to think about in regards to pain meds and labor. more on that to come. other than that, he's good. doctor appointment on the 6th, everything looks fine. he's pressing hard on my sides, running out of room, but he's still movin' and a groovin' in there.
46ish days left.

Thursday, October 8

i should have started these sooner.....

How far along? 32 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I think I've gained about 30 lbs..... not happy about that, but it's all for the little Buckwheat

Maternity clothes? Yupper. The pants are so much more the trick is finding long enough shirts and not stretching out my not-maternity things!

Stretch marks? not yet ::knocking on wood with fingers crossed::

Sleep: lately, pretty good ::knocking on wood with fingers crossed::

Best moment this week: feeling him have hiccups. so sweet. and starting our child birth class....hee hee hee hooooooooo

Movement: slowing down from earlier.... less kicking and punching and more fighting for room and stretching out

Food cravings: jello, mexican, crunchy things

Gender: boy

Labor Signs: i think i've had some braxton hicks, but nothing else

Belly Button in or out? in, but definitely getting less shallow, i doubt it will ever be a full fledged outie.

What I am looking forward to: having an [outside] baby!!!!!

Milestones: starting child birth class, getting closer to finishing the nursery, buying a stroller....these aren't really milestones, but they are big things that we worked on this week...

Tuesday, October 6

Olive Hope Polinder

Olive was born in Thailand, two and a half months early. I know her parents Rusty and Lynette through YWAM Seattle from 2002. Please read the Facebook notes below written by her parents, chronicling her journey since the September 27th. The latest update is from the Insurance Company, saying they will not pay more than $10,000 USD for her care, which means she won't move down to a private hospital in Bangkok. Please keep praying: pray for a change of heart from the insurance company, pray for the doctors in Chiang Rai, that they can treat Olive even BETTER than the doctors in Bangkok, pray for little Olive, that she'll continue to fight and improve and be the miracle everyone knows she is. Just continue to pray.

update on Olive Joy Polinder
Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 9:22am
Dear friends and family,
We have been overwhelmed by the prayers, love, and support we are feeling from all of you. We feel like we are on an emotional rollarcoaster....trying to hold on to hope for our little one, making decisions for her care, and then being moments from thinking we will have to say good-bye to her.
We named her together today after Rusty arrived...Olive Hope Polinder (2.8 lbs)...born at 28.5 weeks.
Today was rough. Started off encouraging. One important medicine that we were encouraged to get to her ASAP (surfactant for her little lungs that didn't have time to develop enough) was driven overnight from a friend of ours from Chiang Mai. She received her first dose at 1:00am last night and responded well, giving them the ability to decrease the level of oxygen she is on from 60% to 40%. This morning she had her second dose, and seemed to be responding well to that.
This afternoon around 2:00 I was getting discharged from the hospital and got a phone call to come as urgently as possible to the hospital she is at (about 10 minutes away) and said she wasn't doing well. We arrived to find out she had a pulmonary hemorrhage and they needed to draw my blood for a possible transfusion. Her heart rate was dropping, as well as her oxygen level. We sang to her, prayed over her, and cried that we wouldn't have to say good-bye before Rusty landed and met her. It took about 25 minutes for them to stabilize her with a new respirator. They had to then increase her oxygen level to 100%...which increases the risk of other complications.
Current complications she has...PDA (a little hole in her heart that hasn't closed). They gave her medication for this tonight that helps 80% of pre-term babies with this problem.She also has an enlarged heart...but they said with the last x-ray that it seems to be getting a little smaller.Possible Intraventricular hemorrhage (bleeding in her brain). This can only be confirmed by an ultrasound which has not been done yet...this is the Dr.s assumption by symptoms she is seeing.It seems like the pulmonary hemmorage has stopped and is looking better.The bleeding has made this little one anemic, so this evening she was starting on a blood transfusion this evening around 9 our time.
They are having a hard time stabilizing her. She is on 100% oxygen...which we want to be reduced as soon as her little body can handle it. We thought we were also going to lose her this evening around 6:30 when he O2 saturation levels dropped to 10%. They were able to give her some medication to bring it back up.
We are exhausted emotionally and physically. So glad to be together again. Pray that we will have the strength we need for the moments ahead and the ability to trust Jesus through all of this. Pray for sweet little Olive...that Jesus would work a miracle and breath life into her little body.
One top of all of this we are having insurance complications and unsure what will be please pray for that.
Much love, Lynette and Rusty

September 29th update on Olive
Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 1:31pm
Dear loved ones,
Yesterday was such a special day. We were both able to spend hours holding little Olive on our chests spending time talking to her and singing over her, We have been overwhelmed by the e-mails, phone calls, facebook messages, and visitors. We are being held up by the prayers of so many we know and love, and also by many who have heard the news who we don't even know personally.
Today has been like each day so far since little Olive Hope has arrived...filled with moments of joy, moments of fear, moments of uncertainty, sadness, hope and thankfulness.
This morning she had an ultrasound done to assess the level of intracranial hemorrhage that she had the other night. There are four levels--one being the least severe with little long term complications and four being the most serious and highest risk of long term complications. Olive had a level four intracranial hemorrhage. The doctors are telling us that if she makes it she will certainly have serious cognitive and motor damage..(mentally handicapped, cerebral palsy...and the list could go on). There is also a high risk of blindness due to the high concentrations of oxygen they have had to keep her on. She is also still anemic so she is getting blood transfusions. And this morning she was very jaundiced so we had to keep her under a photo-therapy light most of the day. Because of her brain damage she is no longer able to blink her little eyes. They remain open ALL the time unless we reach and blink them for her. They only have her on IV so far and say she can't have any breast milk until they hear bowel sounds. My milk has come in, so as of now I have been pumping and storing it in the freezer.
Our hearts are aching for this little one. We are willing and ready to care for a little girl with handicaps if Jesus chooses to give her to us. Part of us is also hoping and longing to see a miracle. Another part of us feels very afraid...of all the unknowns to come. She has had every possible complication and to the most severe level thus far...and yet there is something in me that keeps holding onto some sort of hope. And another part of me that doesn't want her little body to suffer any longer. Thoughts are going and coming in all directions.
We have been asked today if we want them to continue aggressive treatment measures, or if we would like to stop those treatments and simply let her go. Yesterday I thought we were feeling ready to let her go because of how much misery she was going through...and now we have been through two days of holding her and seeing her vital signs increase...and I'm not ready yet to let her go.
All this to say...decision making has felt difficult, but today has been a day when I am going to bed with hope for life for this little one...
And just enough strength to make it through this day by threads. And exhausted.
Jesus has indeed been drawing us closer and closer to Him through this journey...our only place to find any hope in this circumstance.
We can feel your love and support all around us.
Love, Lynette

Carrie's prayer for Olive...(Carrie is my sister-in-law)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 12:39pm

Carrie sent me this prayer she has been praying over little Olive and I keep praying it over her little body all day...
"Olive Hope, The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
"May the power and the blood of Jesus wash over your little body. Lord Jesus, I pray that you would surround Olive with the protective cushion of Your Spirit. I pray that you would wash healing all over her body, around her cells, through her organs, through her brain cells, renewing and restoring.
Lord, restore the damage that has been happened with bleeding. Take it away and replace it with cells that are new, that are uninjured. Protect her body from bleeding – keep her cells tight and whole and immune to damage.
Keep her from infection. Keep her vital signs stable. Protect her eyes. Protect her vision. I pray that her vision would be restored, and she will be able to look into the eyes of her mommy and see her.
Wrap this little being in your presence, around and around with protection, comfort, and healing. Let the power of your kingdom be evident in her tiny body. Jesus. Mend Olive. Make her whole. Restore and protect her. Let her hear her mommy and daddy’s voice even when they are not with her. Let her rest and heal.
Give Lynette and Rusty the strength and endurance they need. Give them words to pray, songs to sing. Hear the cries of our heart, Lord. Turn our tears into tears of rejoicing. Give Lynette and Rusty restorative sleep.
In the name of Jesus who died for us and brought us life and the light of your kingdom here on earth, Amen.

October 30th update
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 1:27pm
Another day without much drama...which is exactly what we were needing today. I was able to catch up on being behind with sleep while Rusty, Bethany, and Jan stayed at the hospital with Olive. Rusty was able to hold her for an hour and sing with her.
I came in from 3 pm-1am and had time singing to her, holding her skin to skin, and praying over her.
Our BIG prayer request is that she would have bowel sounds so that they can begin giving her the milk and colostrum that I have been freezing. She has only been on an IV with dextrose and some other electrolytes and is soooo little and skinny. The Dr. says that there are many factors at the moment for why she has to be NPO (nothing by mouth), but the biggest fear is that if we give her nutrition before her gut is ready, she may get necrotizing enterocolitis (
Please pray that little Olive would be free of this complication. Please pray Carrie's prayer over her...that her damaged cells would be reversed and replaced with new healthy cells.
She is also still anemic, hyponatremic, and jaundiced. The Dr finally ordered her to be on eye drops and eye ointment to prevent her eyes from drying since she can't close them on her own.
Libby is spending the night with her at the hospital and my parents will arrive tomorrow morning.
We are so encouraged by the number of people praying for her. The support we feel from each of you has literally been lifting us up when we are at our lowest points.
Thank-you. love, Lynette

Update and new prayer requests for Olive...
Sun at 5:28am
Dear friends and family,
We continue to be overwhelmed by the number of people praying for Olive and us during this time. I'm not sure if I have ever sensed Christ's body around the world coming together to pray for someone. Daily we are overwhelmed to tears while reading e-mails, prayers, poems, and words of encouragement from close friends and even strangers. We have churches praying for Olive all over the US, Canada, Nepal, Akha villages here in Thailand, the underground church in Vietnam, churches in Korea, churches on the Navajo reservation in New Mexico, England...and the list continues. Friends of mine who haven't prayed in months or years have been praying for her numerous times a day.
The week has been the biggest emotional rollarcoaster we have ever experienced. At the beginning of the week we were talking with the doctors about letting her go, for fear of her little body suffering so much...and then we saw answers to prayers and her condition improving little by little each day. She had every complication in the book, and yet her condition continues to stabilize. She is continuing to respond well to the colostrum, and today the doctor increased her intake to 1 cc/6 times a day. She had another stool today which is evidence that her little digestive system is working well. Her platelet count is normal, as well as her hematocrit and hemoglobin. Her bilirubin levels continue to drop. She has retained the ability to blink and close her eyes as she sleeps. Today they had her on room air for most of the day (21% oxygen)...and receiving 25% for part of the day, and her O2 blood saturation levels remained between 89-96% which is great news.
The current concern is that each day her head circumference continues to increase little by little. Tomorrow morning at 9:00 am (Sunday evening for those of you in the States) we have another ultrasound on her brain to assess the current state of swelling. How I understand it is that with the bleeding she experienced in her brain, her little head is compensating for that increase in space and expanding to reduce the pressure. After the ultrasound in the morning we will sit down to have a meeting with the brain surgeon, neonatologist, and another specialist. We will then talk about the next step in planning for her treatment...if the hospital here is adequate to care for her or if we will need to transfer her to another hospital in Chiang Mai, Bangkok, or the States if she is stable enough.
We are feeling anxious about the ultrasound in the morning, and would ask your prayers for us. Pray against infection for Olive as she is transported to the ultrasound room. We are in a hospital overwhelmed by patients over flowing into the hallways where we walk through to get to the ultrasound room.
We have grown to really love and respect the nurses caring for Olive. They have been so attentive to her needs, and we have much trust in their wisdom in caring for her. We have also grown to trust the doctor caring for her.
Culturally here in Thailand children with disabilities are looked down upon. I remember volunteering at an orphanage outside of Bangkok eight years ago and watching monks come and visit the hundreds of mentally handicapped children and tell them, "If you do better in this life, your next life will be better." Earlier this week our doctor, Thai friend, and two nurses sat us down for a meeting and asked if we wanted to go ahead and give Olive platelets that she needed and a new antibiotic, or if we would like to withhold the treatment and "let her go." They all encouraged us to "let her go" and withhold the treatment and said she would have about a week before her little body would shut down. They told us that if she survives and is handicapped and possibly blind it would be unfair to her. We cried a lot during that meeting, prayed, and went with our continue treatment and commit to caring for her...unless we come to a point where we feel her little body can't undergo any more aggressive treatment.
We go through our days asking for more miracles...more healing of damaged cells, and quality of life for this little one.
Love, Lynette and Rusty

Update from Ultrasound and CT Scan...

Yesterday at 10:21am
Dear friends and family,
We had a very intense day today and are feeling pretty drained. This morning Olive had an ultrasound of her brain to assess if there was any further bleeding, or an increase in fluid around the brain. The results showed that there has been no additional bleeding. However, the area with the bleeding has not absorbed back into the circulation of the brain causing an obstruction in the cerebral spinal fluid. This increase in fluid around the brain (hydrocephalus) is causing some pressure on the brain, as well as an increase in her head circumference. After the ultrasound this morning the brain surgeon decided to send Olive for a CT Scan of the brain to see more clearly what is going on. The CT scan confirmed what they had seen in the ultrasound.
The doctor told us that the treatment will be to place a temporary shunt/drain into her head to remove some of this fluid. He says there is a small chance that it could resolve on its own if her body would absorb the blood from the hemorrhage, but he suggested getting arrangements in place for surgery in case that becomes the only option. The good news is that because her head is so soft, and her fontanels haven't yet closed it will allow her head circumference to increase and make room for this fluid...and the brain surgeon said it is not an emergency surgery, but suggested within the next week or so we would take action.
Currently Olive has an infection in her blood, though she received antibiotics for it. We will wait to see the results of her CBC (Complete Blood Count) tomorrow to see if her WBC (white blood cell) count has gone down at all, which would show a decrease in infection in her body. Worries from the doctor about giving her this shunt are that she has such weak immune system, she is only 1.295 kg, and fears of using anesthesia for a pre-term 28 week old baby. There is of course an increase in the risk of infection with any surgery.
Good news for the day...her bilirubin levels have dropped and she is no longer under photo-therapy. She continues to do well on the colostrum and day by day they have been increasing her intake. Today she was only receiving 21-25% oxygen. Her heart rate and blood oxygen level remained stable all day. They have also changed the ventilator settings to make her use her little lungs more and she is adjusting well and making good progress.
Tomorrow we will be writing up reports of all of her treatments, diagnosis, and test results and making phone calls to doctors here in Thailand, as well as neonatologists and brain surgeons we have been recommended to contact by our friends and families in the States. We will then be trying to figure out where the best place for her treatment will be, and finding a neurosurgeon who has had experience placing shunts in pre-term well as finding anesthesiologists who have experience with pre-term babies. Pray for wisdom as we make these decisions.
We have also been trying to sort out lots of details with our insurance, so please pray for this as well.
We are so thankful to have my mom and dad here during this time and for all of the love and support they are giving us. Our dear friend Ghan also stayed with us all day helping us with translating during our meetings with the neonatologist and brain surgeon. Bethany and Libby have been so helpful in so many ways too. Sherry Palsrok is also here as a support which has meant a lot to us. I could keep going and mentioning those in this community who have been so thoughtful during this time but my list would get too long for tonight.
We want to thank so many of you who spent time in prayer for Olive this morning. We continue to ask Jesus to touch her little fight against infection, and to protect her brain despite these complications. We also have been thankful for the good signs we are seeing with her respiratory system and digestive system. We continue to have hope for this little one...Much love, Lynette

Rough day...please continue praying.
Today at 2:01am
Dear friends and family,
Each day we feel like Jesus has given us just enough strength to get through the is a day where I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down with each new piece of news the doctors give us.
We arrived this morning to the hospital to find out that after a chest x-ray last night they found infiltrates in Olive's lungs, and they diagnosed her with pneumonia. She has also lost her bowel sounds and has been having quite a bit of gastric residual in her stomach so they have stopped giving her colostrum until her little digestive system starts up again.
Her WBC count has increased...most likely due to the infection in her lungs.
This morning we started making phone calls to our insurance company (Talent Trust Insurance) which is under Aetna and got a return phone call that they have looked over her information and talked on the phone with our neonatologist and brain surgeon. The insurance company thinks we need to move Olive to a private hospital in Bangkok ASAP, and both doctors agree that she is stable enough and would recommend this as well. They would pay for her to be flown with a medical team to this top children's hospital.
However, they are telling us that the cap for coverage for newborn care is 10,000 US dollars...which is RIDICULOUS. That will barely cover her for three days down there at this other hospital. We have been on the phone with insurance ALL day so far and Rusty is finally talking to the top supervisors who know all about our situation and will make a decision if she will be fully covered or not around 4 this afternoon. Our medivac team is on hold until we find out if she will be covered by insurance and if they tell us she is covered she will be transfered most likely tomorrow. If she is not covered we will be staying here at our current hospital.We are at the end of ourselves today...I'm so worried about the infections in her little body...and then to add the stress of a transfer...and an imminent surgery. Everything feels out of our own control.
We are waiting for an answer and praying for peace to surround us in the midst of this chaos and worry. We know Jesus has a has just been a day where trusting that plan feels more difficult. No matter the outcome we will continue to serve Him...the one who entrusted Olive to us as a gift.
Thank-you for your prayers. Love, Lynette


Insurance issues...
Today at 3:10am
Dear friends and family,
I just got off the phone with Rusty. Insurance will only pay for the medivac team and not more than 10,000 US dollars above that. For now we will be staying at Chiang Rai Regional Hospital and looking into options. Feeling in shock about this insurance coverage. Can't even wrap my mind around the person who wrote that policy.
Love, Lynette

Friday, September 25


does this not make sense to anyone else? decrease your debt by taking out a personal loan? i saw this on our online banking and it just made me confused. that's all

Wednesday, September 16

ongoing projects

i've been a busy bee lately, lots of ideas circling my head. i've been working on lots of things that will hopefully be great for me and for friends. thought i'd share some of my ideas, i'll share finished projects when they are done (depending how they turn out...) :)
  • working on this for a friends baby girl's nursery
  • a variation of this for my monkey's room
  • working on a few sets of these for everyone i know expecting a delivery from the stork
  • a variation of this, again for the monkey

i'm still looking for more ideas to really make this baby's room unique and special. i think once we get the ton of stuff from montana, and all the furniture, i'll take more creativity and figure out what is missing.

Friday, September 11

worth it all

i'm trying really hard not to complain, but i have to vent a bit...... to get things off my chest. i take it back, not really complaining, but more observations about being pregnant.... here goes
  • there are ten chubby sausages where my toes used to be
  • i can no longer wear my wedding rings. last night i had to take it off and i thought my poor finger was going to explode. on the plus side, i just read this morning about women who had to have their ring cut least it didn't get that bad!!
  • i barely got my toe nail polish removed before i realized how uncomfortable i was, stretching and struggling. i guess i get a pedicure this weekend!
  • i can't concentrate on anything for longer than 8 seconds......
  • .......what was i doing again?
  • very few things fit me anymore....and i don't want to spend much $$ on maternity clothes that i won't wear after december....
  • i can't remember a day i didn't look up cribs, diapers, or car seats online at least once
  • it takes me a month to get comfortable at night, only to wake up and either move downstairs or go to the bathroom.....

BUT, you know what? i wouldn't trade it for anything. every time this little monkey kicks, rolls, rattles, dances or punches inside of me, it still brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. i can't believe that i'm growing a little man....that i've been entrusted to grow and nurture this little life inside of me. really, the other stuff doesn't even matter. i'm over it. he's all worth it.

mama loves you, buckwheat

Friday, August 7


Tomorrow is the day for HeavenFest. We went last year, and are looking forward to this year even more. We now know what to expect (lots of people, very dusty, hot, sunny, awesome!) and what to bring (contact solution and glasses, lunch, lawn chairs). It'll be great to hear what Buckwheat thinks of all the music; he's been moving and shaking like crazy lately. Mat's most excited to see Kutless, I'm excited to see them again, as well as Skillet again. It'll be a great time in the sunshine, with even more people than last year!


Thursday, July 30

{giveaway madness}

one of my favorite things about reading blogs from around the country is the unexpected giveaways. this country is full of generous, creative people who are always showing off their creativity and their friends. as you know, i heart etsy a ridiculous amount. through some random avenues, i found another amazing blog, full of creativity and love. fabulous-k is having an amazing giveaway this week, two giveaways per day! it's also some amazing free advertising for her friends and clients. for example, i found something i heart beyond a lot, that otherwise i wouldn't have found. case in point below, the vintage pearl. how sweet is this necklace. i love it so much. of course, i entered hers (and the other 8!!! so far) giveaways, but i just had to share this amazing find with all my friends. so lovely.

(i stole the picture from the vintage pearl's website, want to give credit!)

do yourself a flavor, and go to visit fabulous-k's blog, check out the other amazing goodies that are being offered this week. the diaper bags (how cute!!), sweet tutu's, delicious personalized stationery (sooo great!) i have a feeling many of these folks will be getting a share of my birthday money! :)

Saturday, July 25


this week has turned out much differently than we thought it would. it was going to be a hectic week, with the ultrasound on monday, dentist appointments, eye doctor appointments, my final on wednesday.. just a jam-packed week. little did we know that we would have a microburst come through and knock over trees and knock out power for 36 hours. it was insane, the weather was scary, the aftermath was unbelieveable, the lack of power was inconvenient, the candlelight studying was a pain. however, we really are lucky; no trees fell on our house or cars, only minor damage to our cars and probably our roof (which is why we have insurance after all!) and both of us were safe and together. having no power for one night was a little boring for mat (as i was studying as much as i could before the sun went down) but it also gave us a chance to talk and walk and share better time together. so much of our life is hurry hurry hurry, that when we finally get home, we veg out in front of the tv. without tv, we had dinner at the table (even though it was delivered pizza!) and went for a walk in the greenbelt. it allowed us to slow down and relish the quiet there is without all the appliances and electronics buzzing.

it also got me thinking about the influence of candlelight. as soon as the power went out monday night, we got out flashlights and candles. as soon as i lit a candle, the light filled up the entire room. the far reaching power of light over dark is amazing, leading me to think more about how Jesus called us the light of the world. I am a light of the world!!! the rest of the passage is just as poigniant "16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father." i have the potential to be like that candle we had to light so that we could see clearly; i have the capability to be the light for those around me to see more clearly the love that my heavenly Father has for them. if i don't live out that life, the life of the light of the world, then i am like the candle under the basket: ineffective. i pray that i will daily exhibit the light of the world, the light that i have inside of me, the light of Jesus Christ. i pray that in that way, i can bring light to the lives of those around me, the clarity, peace and faith that comes from Jesus. that is my prayer.

if you are interested, here are some photos of the storm:

downed trees on the greenbelt behind our house

my poor rose bush and flowers....shredded....

marble sized hail (yes, that is all hail behind him on the grass..)

eerie morning fog, with our neighbors downed tree

Monday, July 20

he is a HE.....

just wanted to share some pictures from the ultrasound we had today. HE certianly wasn't shy, it took the ultrasound tech about 2.2 seconds to know for sure that he is HE. it was so good to see our baby again, to see him moving around (which he was doing a..l..o..t of today!) to see his heart beating, his spine and ribs and tootsies. it was so good for my heart to see him and know that he's developing healthily and happily :) i feel so blessed already, with a full heart.
i just can't wait for it to be december so that we can meet him and bring him home!!!