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debbie downer

i'm having a rough mommy day. there are a lot of variables contributing, not really sure any one of them warrants the cranky feeling i'm having. but all combined, they are bringing me to the edge. ok, not really the edge.....but i'm still .... just .... blah. i feel like i'm in over my head with this toddler i have. for the first time, he pulled something breakable off a shelf at hancock fabrics today. and it broke. and the cashier wouldn't let me pay for it. i said "i'm so sorry" and she said "i know you are" i'm not sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but i felt judged for having a wild child running around laughing. i felt really judged. the worst part was that i didn't know...really....how to handle it. obviously i wanted to/tried to pay for the broken little knickky-knack. but as for levi, i didn't know how to handle it. i told him that was not ok, but what else should i have done? when do you start spanking? what warrants a spanking? how do you discipline an (almost) 18 month old wild child who is too curious to pay attention to you for more than 5 seconds? i know these questions are so different for every parent, i just really feel like i need some guidance. i feel so impatient. i feel like i'm losing my temper with him too quickly. i don't want to be the mom who yells.....i just don't feel like he listens to me. he's starting to pitch little fits....involving kicking, screaming and writhing on the floor, simply when i ask him to get out of the fridge. how did he get so old so fast?

on top of all this feeling inadequate and judged....... we have water in our basement :( and none of our babysitters are available on saturday to watch levi so we can go out for our anniversary (which is FINE. i understand they have their own lives..... just bummed) and i feel sick. it's probably the weather, but it's a vicious cycle. i feel gross cuz i can't go outside and play, but i can't go outside and play cuz the weather is bad. so i feel sick :( like i said, each of these on their own is really no big deal. when they all culminate at once, they are sucky :(

and then the little monster falls asleep like this, even before lunch. apparently running wild and breaking things takes it's toll on you. this makes me smile, even when i want to pull my hair out.

what an arm!

i'm sad how long it's been since i've updated this thing. i got sick, then healthy, then sick again. mat's taken three business trips, my sister came to visit, levi's been sick for almost a month and we took a vacation to seattle (levi and i met mat out there on the tale end of one business trip). it's been a whirlwind few weeks, and now the littlest smith has an ear infection, cold virus, faucet for a nose and a wicked cough. but he's still fun. and he still offers kisses......which i readily accept even when there is snot in them. all too soon, the day will come that he won't want to kiss his mama anymore.
his newest thing is chucking EVERYTHING. he walks up to me with a toy. i cringe, worrying he's going to throw it in my face. he sucked down a sippy cup of water at hobby lobby today, and promptly rocketed it to the lady standing behind us in line. then he smiled. little stinker.
our vacation was amazing. it was our first not-montana vacation in 3 years (i think)......our first 3 member family vacation EVER. we spent thursday through tuesday in seattle, staying on lake union. we rode the elevator, watched the sea planes land from our room, ate lots of seafood, walked a lot and cuddled in our king size bed. levi did good, all except for the first night. but don't we all cry and wail in our first night in a strange hotel bed? we visited family, met lots of new friends, saw some dear old friends, took a trip up the space needle, to the children's museum, the waterfront.....it was excellent. we have lots and lots of pictures, i'll put them in the next post. i'm a lucky lady, with some great friends and two boys in my life whom i love very very much.
blessed.

here's a link to the vacation pictures. hope it works!

stop chewing on aunt katie

for some reason there are tons of school pictures of aunt katie floaing around our basement, and levi loves carrying her around with him :) and he's getting more teeth, so everything is going in the mouth again. and he's a slobber monster. and he's napping in the morning again. these teeth are really taking a lot out of him. poor goober. other than his mouth hurting, he's doing great. we survived mat being gone for 5 days in indianapolis, now we are looking forward to our seattle trip next month. :) levi has lots of new friends to meet in seattle, and we have lots of family time to look forward to! and aunt connie is visiting between now and then! yay! i'm reading a lot in this great book called "you matter more than you think" and it's really stretching me. i'm trying to get better about doing a devotional, thoughtful, just-me reading every day, but not beating myself up when it doesn't happen every day. i want to work on being more real in this blog, putting more of myself out there and seeing what i get back. trying to be a better wife, a more diligent mom, a more thoughtful friend, a more intentional child of God, a more genuine person all around. lots of growing and tugging and work, but it'll be worth it in the end. i've also been working out more, or at least trying to....and it's an interesting parallel to my relationship with Jesus. both are hard work, but both are SO worth the hard work, one obviously more so than the other. but if i make time for the crazies on my work out dvds, who don't know me from adam......why not more so should i make time for the lover of my soul?

who wants some free stuff???

head on over to little boys are made of frogs, snails and puppy dog tails for a fun giveaway from baby lovenotes.

and if you are here because of the giveaway, say hey and let me know! :)

wordless wednesday

if you keep using that as a dinglehopper, i'm taking it away

this lovely laughable came out of my dear hubby's mouth at dinner the other night. levi's using his own fork now, mostly. but it mostly is used to comb his hair and nearly poke eyes out. it's pretty funny, really. but he's getting more independent every day. and so smart. when i ask if he wants to go outside, he goes into his room and brings me his shoes. he listens really well most of the time and is, of course, so fun. he hates flip flops and hats; he's loving my sunglasses right now, even though they don't stay on his face. he is phasing out his morning nap, which will take more adjusting for me than for him!! last week my grandparents and uncle and cousin visited for 5 days. it was so much fun. levi spent lots of time with gg pat and papa bob, as well as playing and snuggling with brittany and spent most of the trip to the zoo in uncle rob's arms. it was so fun, he really warmed up to them quickly and would readily go to them whenever they came in the door. we went to the zoo, lots of shopping, and lots of good eating. uncle rob, brittany, mat and i went to a nuggets game one night too, it was SO NICE to have a kidless night, without having to get up every thirty seconds to walk around, keeping wiggly fingers from pulling strangers hair or put his fingers in our beer. it was lovely. mat, brittany and i were supposed to run in a 7k that sunday, but i came down with a stubborn cough, cold and sore throat, so everyone decided i should just skip it and relax. which was better for me, i know. i just felt like i was whimping out. i'll make up for it, soon hopefully. it was a fantastic long weekend with family. we miss them already. mat's leaving on friday for indianapolis until wednesday, which makes me sad. i'm just hoping i feel better by then, that'll make the time much more enjoyable and easier on this mama.

clumsy

"i fell on my ear, i fell on my face
i fell on myself all over the place"

this is the story of this house lately. i broke my baby pinky toe, have an inch-long gash on my hand, and i've been struggling with this stinky cold for a week. levi is walking, spinning circles, trying to run and tumble. he's so busy that he's smacking his face and head on everything. lots of bruises and tear around here. though i'd expect nothing less with a toddler. he keeps us on our toes, that's for sure. he's awesome

decluttering

simplemom

jump on the band wagon!

sweet little man

these small toes belong to a sweet little man who has captured my heart. my dear friend joy had her baby on tuesday. she was 35 weeks pregnant, just a couple weeks shy of being full term. john had to be taken early because joy's fluid levels were dangerously low. he entered this world early, quickly and dramatically.

he is currently on a ventilator in the NICU in a hospital in texas. his mom is recovering from her c-section and trying to be there to comfort and cheer on her little man. and, oh yeah, his dad is in iraq. this family has a large chunk of my heart, and has been dominating my thoughts for the past week. he is a fighter, just like his mom and dad. but he needs our prayers. please band together with me, come up along side of me, and cover this family in your prayers.

from joy's facebook this evening " holding onto God's word for myself, my husband, and especially my son... John 14:27 I give my peace to you. I do not give it to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid"

don't put batman in the dishwasher

every day i say things that i've never thought i'd say. today, this is what it was :) levi is enamored with this tiny batman our neighbors gave him. it goes with him a lot of places, just the latest was being hucked into the dishwasher. he's figuring out that whenever the door opens, mom puts things in there, so now he hustles over to the dishwasher to make his deposit: tupperware lids (that are clean) sippy cups full of juice, and.....batman.

no worries, no superheros were harmed in the making of this funny.

he's a sweet boy, walking the majority of the time. he's teaching me to slow down. no longer can we hustle in and out of the stores. he likes to walk everywhere, holding my hand, getting distracted and spinning cookies, stopping in his tracks, dragging his feet. i'm trying to translate this lesson into other areas of my life..... as much as i want him to grow up "can't you just start talking so you can tell me what you want?" "you have to walk.... i'm sick of carrying you!" i just can't believe that he's already walking and signing and developing his personality. he's amazing and i love him to death, it's just hard to believe he's getting so big and old and...... not baby. he's a little boy. i'm working hard at remembering and relishing the every day moments we have together.

"enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things"
--robert brault

where i've been

we've been trying to enjoy the sunny days when they come, cuz winter can come back without warning. today we spent most of the morning outside, and levi's been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours so far :)

i got this inflatable car at target for $5, and i'm working on a homemade ball pit (i definitely need more balls for the pit)
and levi found where his bath toy bin is. think he has enough?

practicing standing, eating and playing with papa at the same time. he's a busy monkey.

brewery tour on valentine's day. my parents were in town, so we went to the brewery, then mat and i went to the batting cage, and then all of us went out for bbq dinner. what a great valentines day that man got!!!

at levi's dedication with great grandma ev

at levi's dedication with nana and papa

valentine's day smoothie.........yum!

he definitely has got the hang of a straw. he drank half of my smoothie!

i finally let him open his barn from his birthday; and he promptly tried to ride it. does that mean he has too many ride-on toys? haha

chili dogs and cole slaw. can you see how close he got to eating any cole slaw??

doesn't that smile just melt your heart?

and this is the most adorable thing i've ever seen! the zoo with nana and papa.

oh yeah, and i've been doing a little working at nap times :) i have 5 sets of closet dividers to be made, and a whole batch of lovees to deliver to the children's hospital. i am so blessed to be able to create, and work in my own home. it's definitely not a gold mine, or enough for mat to stay home, but it's an amazing outlet for me, and gratifying to know that i can bless others with my creativity. thanks all :)

snow days

we have had a lot of self imposed snow days around here lately. i say self imposed since i don't really have to go anywhere to get to work........and it's not like levi's preschool is going to be cancelled. we just decide not to go anywhere, enjoy snuggling, playing and drinking lots of hot tea. (i'm drinking so much of it, whenever levi sees my coffee mug he says "hhhhhhhot") here's a peek into our days the last couple weeks. :)we stand :)
we read LOTS and LOTS of books (big red barn 3 times today!)

we do a little blackberry-ing ;)

we stand in the chair and watch it snow.

we practice flushing the toilet (and turning on the dishwasher....little goober)

we finally figured out "touchdown" during the superbowl :)

we figured out how to open the cereal cupboard and help ourselves to kix

we chill

we play in the magazine rack

i love this littel goober. he makes me laugh all the time. and sometimes i laugh so loud, he starts laughing. so funny.

{mostly} wordless thursday

determination defined by a 13 month old. precious

valentine

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exciting

i have been prayerfully considering and thinking a lot about giving back, doing something more with my time, and blessing others. at christmas our pastor talked about "C.O.A.L.- Christmas On Another Level" which he expanded to simply be LIFE on another level. Meaning Christmas shouldn't just be a day or a week in our year, but a way of life, a manner of living, and state of mind in which we constantly think outside of ourselves and to others. he handed out stickers, 12 of them, to put on our calendar every month to remind us of our "COAL" commitment. he suggested putting them on the 25th of each month......you know, like Christmas. well......that's tomorrow. since Christmas, i've been thinking about what i can do to make a different and do something more. my first thought was children's hospital. i SO take levi's health for granted, i am so greatful that he is a happy, healthy, developing toddler who, thus far, as escaped any serious health issues. i know that not every family is so lucky. and i want to do something to help those families, and those babies. i know what i can do won't make much of a difference, it won't help pay their medical bills, won't heal the kids, and won't make the things they are going through any easier, but i want to at least provide a little blessing, a small ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark and scary time. i have been prompted and lead to make and donate one lovee blanket for every sale in my shop. that's right, for every sale that i've had or will have in the weeks and months to come, one infant in the NICU will have a snuggly, cuddly lovee blanket to help in whatever small way it might help. i pray that God will do something bigger with these blankets than i can do. i pray that God will use these blankets in a monumental way, to speak words of life, peace and comfort into the scared minds and hearts of the parents, and that he will use the simple gift of a lovee to........ i don't know, just bring a little joy into their hearts. i know that God can do bigger and better things through just a simple act. i humbly ask you to be with me in this, to be praying for the families that will get the blankets, and for the kids who will be fighting for their lives.
thank you in advance for your prayers, support and encouragement. if you want to donate a lovee, pick something out of my shop, or email me to donate one without a purchase!

wordless wednesday

sad

i got no entries in my giveaway.
i'm trying really hard not to take it personally. it seems so junior high-ish to say "no one likes me or my shop or my blog. why doesn't anyone like me?" i'm trying not to get sucked into this as a popularity contest or anything...... but i'm frustrated. and, to be honest, all those thoughts are running through my head. i'm not sure what i can do to make people care about what i'm writing and what i'm doing........

intentional

inspired by my dear friend heather, i have decided to choose a word for 2011. a word to remember and try to live my life by. a word that will hopefully give my life, my days, my activities, my mothering, my wife-ing.......direction and purpose. the word that i'm working hard to remember this year is INTENTIONAL. i'm trying hard to be intentional with my time, my money, my food, my choices, my attitudes, my activities, my talents, my attention, my heart, my energy. i'm trying to make intention the cornerstone of this year. no more half-assing things. no more laziness. no more wallowing.

"There is an eagle in me that wants to soar,

and there is a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud"

-- Carl Sandburg